I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
