so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Randomize
