with your own penis?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
