you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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