I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
