You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
