i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
