just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
