You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
How's work?
Spinning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize