Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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