actually, I'm a sock model
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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