whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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