Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
