I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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