is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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