Yo dont text me then not text me
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Life is so much better after having sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize