Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nicole vs. Life
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
