i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
