Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
