so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
