When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
