well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
