Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
