i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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