today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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