thus making me awesome and them whores
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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