so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
