I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she woke up with a sticky ear
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
