I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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