Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
