People in love make me want to vomit
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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