i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Shame - the story of my life.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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