Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize