Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
