god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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