No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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