I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
