hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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