kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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