OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
