my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
