I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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