I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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