how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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