She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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