I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
"it" just moved
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
