Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
