Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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