Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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