I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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