i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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