we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
