He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
