he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
50% drunk capacity currently
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
