You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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