i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
