Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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