I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
