Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
