do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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