As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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