Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
