did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
