Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
