i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
not ubering you a puppy
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
