Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
