we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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